Stop! Crying over spilled milk!

It is time to let those who hurt you go and Move On

It is said, ‘that it is so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.’ I believe that one of the hardest things that a person can do is to forgive those who have hurt them. Simply because often times we hold onto their words of contradictions;

They said that they loved me but why did they cheat on me?

I thought you said you were my friend but where were you when I needed you?

I thought you said that we would always be together but you left me?

You said I was the one for you, but now you don’t want me?

 

I had the opportunity a few months ago to minister on the subject, living in contradictions. I said to the people how can you love someone and yet in the same breathe dislike them? How can you love them and leave them? The Apostle Paul wrote this in the bible, ‘No, my dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.’ Philippians 3:12

 

What Paul was teaching us is to not sit and dwell on what has already happened simply because there isn’t anything that you can do about it, but what we can do is have a selective memory. This means that you don’t have to think about those who hurt us but that we choose to select this part of our life to dwell on. So, when we sit up and continuously think about what has happened, what you could have done differently we stay in a state of depression simply because of their acts of contradictions has left us without any closure. This is why it’s hard to forgive those who hurt you, because we are trying to make some kind of sense out what has already happened and how did we end up like this. You’re saying, I don’t understand I gave them everything and they left me with nothing. How could they?

 

They are the Ghost of Christmas Past

 

We must understand that they have moved on with their lives and you are still harboring the pain and rehearsing the lines and giving drama but the only people showing up for rehearsal is ‘you.’ I know that what they did to you hurt but how long will you cry over spilt milk. Imagine this with me if you will. You go to the store and buy yourself some milk come home pour it in a glass and you spill some of it. Do you lick it back up? Do you take your hand and try to pour it back in the glass? No, you get a napkin and wipe it up and put it in the trash! This is what it looks like when you don’t release those who hurt you. You’re constantly calling them, emailing, looking on face book, just to see if they are talking to someone else. You have become a private detective, sitting outside their house, look at yourself what is wrong with you. You can’t enjoy what God is doing in your life, because you are still crying and praying over something that is over, let it go. You talk and think about it all the time. You can’t make people be your friend, do business with you, neither can you make people love you. It’s over, they don’t want you in their life. What am I saying, ‘they are not crying over you they are living their life and you’re acting like you can’t live without them.’

 

Forgiveness Releases them from YOU!

 

There is confusion about what is involved with forgiveness. Forgiveness is not saying that things are okay now, and then going back into an abusive situation. It is not letting someone off the hook by saying, “You didn’t do anything wrong.” Some people think that forgiveness is unconditional love with no

boundaries or accountability. It is not. Forgiveness is not denial that a hurtful situation exists, and it isn’t denying the fact that your feelings are hurt. And forgiveness does not mean you accept the person’s behavior.

 

There are times when we don’t feel like forgiving those who have wronged us. It is easier to act our way into feeling than to feel our way into acting. Having a nature of not forgiving others brings about bitterness, and bitterness brings about resentment. By forgiving others, we free ourselves spiritually and emotionally. Forgiveness is an act of our own personal will in obedience and submission to God’s will, trusting God to bring emotional healing.

 

People who have experienced abuse, trauma, or loss need time to sort things out and let God bring them to the place of forgiveness in His time. God’s timing is always the right time for each individual. The act of forgiving others is between us and God. The only time we need to forgive a person face-to-face is at the moment we are asked by that person to forgive them for the hurt they have caused.

 

Do not get entangled with that bondage again!

 

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you have to put yourself back into that situation again. God showed you who they are so forgiveness doesn’t mean that you should trust them with your life again. It simply means that just like the milk is the relationship, the spilt milk is the hurt, and the paper towel is the forgiveness, and putting it in the trash is letting them go. This is just an analogy I wouldn’t call anyone trash, but my heart is for you to release them so that you can move on with your life. God has great things in store for you. Go into prayer and just tell the Lord all about your hurt and pain so that you can finally be free to learn, love, and live again.

 

Just when I thought I was finished writing God told me to tell someone that you are so angry about those who hurt you that it is destroying your life? The bible says, that anger rest in the bosom of fools and to long for the good ole’ days is not wise. This anger is burning up your life. You go to church but nothing has changed, and nothing will until you release that pent up anger and forgive that person who hurt you and allow God to come into your heart so that you can be healed. I keep hearing you say, but I thought that they were a Christian; I thought they loved me, sweetheart let it go. You are allowing this to rob you of your joy, peace, and happiness. God loves you. Mostly, I want people to also forgive themselves, you made a bad decision we all have, give it to God and let it go.